and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
