You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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