Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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