Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
