he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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