remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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