Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
