did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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