he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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