I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
