The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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