we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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