I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
