He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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