I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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