I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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