My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
they need to just BURY HIM!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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