Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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