So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
