...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
