One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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