So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
