blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
God, I missed his penis.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
