u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
only if we run a train.
done.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
