We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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