I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
