She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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