there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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