just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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