I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
