That's intense
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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