Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
