It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
