I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
