is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
