i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
