I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
