i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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