I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
