It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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