I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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