I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
