hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
