The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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