It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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