he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
