the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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