Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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