It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
