Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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