Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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