My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
