I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
