i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
