I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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