so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
