How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
