Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think your dad took our porno
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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