one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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