A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
