i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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