This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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