I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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